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Simplicity Sunday – The Other Side of Fear

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other side of fear

Yes.  Everything I want IS on the other side of fear.  On this Easter day, I realize that I need a little resurrection of my own.  Resurrection of some dreams and goals and aspirations.  I’ve been doing pretty good for the past decade.  I am extremely happy that I made the choice to come here when the job opened up almost 10 years ago.  I love where I live and I have had a great experience in my job.  But, I’ve become comfortable and I’ve avoided taking opportunities for more when they’ve come along the past few years.  The Community College by me has had three jobs in the past six years and I’ve applied for none of them.  When I originally finished my Masters program, teaching at Community College was what I wanted to do.  But, when this job came along, it was a good compromise.  There was no “tenure” to be had, but it was stable in a good program with good funding, and it was my alumni program.  I make decent money and I don’t have an overload of teaching responsibilities.  So, I have resisted change.  I’ve made a lot of excuses – my parents’ illnesses, my daughter’s illnesses, health insurance concerns (legitimate in our situation, but after looking into it, seems to be pretty equal), retirement concerns (again, legitimate, but seems pretty good).  And because of these, I’ve given up what could have been six years of consistent raises – instead of I’ve received one raise in the past nine years and we may be going on strike next month, so things are looking good for future raises either.  And even if I get the raises we’re striking for and the one I applied for, it would still be a ceiling for many years to come.

In addition, I am in a position where although I have a lot of stability, I am not a “regular” faculty member.  I do not really feel part of a professional community.  And that takes its toll.  Especially when things get stressful or I want to try new things or I just want to be able to talk shop with someone.  I don’t have that where I am.  And without a change in position, I will not have it.

So, I’m taking a leap.  I am applying for the fourth job at the local Community College.  It is another year where I have plenty of excuses NOT to – my DD’s pacemaker placement is stressful and could interfere with interviewing.  We have a strike coming up possibly, which will also wreak havoc on my semester possibly.  So, I could have easily passed up the opportunity with my usual “it just isn’t the right time”.  But, you know what.  It IS the right time.  And although it may not happen, it is an opportunity I need to at least step up to and take a chance.  So, here goes.

We had a friend visiting this weekend and she said she had made 2016 the year of saying yes for her.  She said she says yes to opportunities unless there is a really good and important reason to say no.  I have kind of been on the opposite focus lately.  But, I think I need to say yes to opportunities that COULD BE really good and important to my future.  And this is it folks.  So, I’m stepping out and doing it.  Wish me luck.  I can’t say I’m feeling totally confident in my decision at this point.  But, I feel confident that I will regret NOT doing it.

 

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One Comment

  1. Best wishes on your efforts. I hope it works out for you, professor.

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