I feel like I’m suffering massive mood shifts this week. I’m not sure what is up, but here are some of the feelings I’m having:
Exhaustion. I don’t know why. I have been sleeping plenty. But, I don’t think I’m sleeping well. I am scheduled for an MRI on my shoulder on Thursday for a possible rotator cuff or torn ligament and it bothers me when I’m sleeping. So, that might be playing a part in it. In addition, I have my 8-year-old DD, my 100 pound half lab, half shepherd and now my 60-pound bulldog sleeping in my bed with my husband and I. They are cute, but not comfortable:
Seriously, space in my bed is at a premium. I find myself getting really tired in the afternoon/early evening as well. But, that could be from my food intake not being particularly energy producing. I need to take better care of myself in a lot of ways.
Inspired. I am at one of those times in my life where everything is inspiring to me. I am listening to podcasts, reading articles online, doing online classes, etc., etc. and all of them are inspiring to me. I want to do EVERYTHING better. I feel like I CAN do everything better. But, then there is the first thing – I’m exhausted. So, I attempt to do some things, but I can only get so much done before exhaustion kicks in and slows me down.
At least I know I’m not the only one. I can’t focus on any one thing because I want to do it ALL! The Ultimate Bundle calls my name, but I want to do a little of everything. I want to listen to all 70+ podcasts from Cult of Pedagogy so I can teach better. I want to read ALL the blogs on productivity. I want to do all the side gigs. I want to do DIYs. But, obviously, I can’t do it all. And I find it difficult to prioritize the things.
Lost. This is something that comes and goes. This past Sunday was Mother’s Day and it was the second one I have not had my mom to celebrate with. That makes me feel a bit lost. I also often feel like I’m missing my identity. I used to be an athlete. Then I was a debater. Then I was a debate coach. Then I was a mom. I am still a debate coach and a mom. But, I am more than that, yet I often feel like I am less than that. I used to be a daughter, but now my parents are both gone. I am a teacher. I am an animal owner. I am a girl scout leader. I am a woman. But, what does all of that mean? Who am I, REALLY?!? I’m not always sure.
So, I guess the answer is yes. I can be all of those things. I am all of those things. Now, what to do with that. I want to be less exhausted. I want to continue to be inspired, but also be motivated. I want to feel less lost and be more sure of who I am. I want all of this. I’m just not quite sure how to get it.