Today’s truth is one that brings with it both joy and disappointment. I’ve been focused so much on finding the “key” to improving myself over the past few years that I often fail to even try those “key”s in the lock. The truth is, I often just progress through life in the same basic way while I try to make changes and implement improvement plans. But, the real “key” is actually changing the way I live my life. I’m not going to run away and join the circus or anything (at least, I don’t think I am), but I am realizing that I am committing the “crazy” act that Einstein described when he said:
“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
So, what am I struggling with that keeps me doing the same things over and over again? Even when I am implementing some new program to improve myself?
- I let inertia rule me. It is a natural law, so I feel like it isn’t totally unexpected that that is the case. If I do not have a full slate of activities planned or things that HAVE to get done, I will often not get much done.
- I am not a natural planner. I love planners (the objects), but find it difficult to use it to actually be a planner (the personality type). I tend to do what is in front of me or most pressing at the time. Even when I have a planner, I often fail to look at it often enough for it to make a difference. It is a pretty accessory, but I’m not going to let it be the boss of me.
- I am fiercely independent. Often to the point of not asking for help even when I need it most. I am afraid to look like a failure. Basically, I would rather suffer consequences than being seen as someone in need of help. This does not just apply to people, but sometimes also God. Although I ask for help from Him often, I don’t necessarily accept it when it comes my way.
- I am resistant to change. This has become especially true since my DD was born. I think that there was/is so much unpredictability in my life as far as her health is concerned that I tend to try to maintain consistency everywhere else, even when that is to my own detriment.
Does any of this sound familiar to you? Are you stuck in a rut? Do you find reading about self-improvement and home management and productivity much more enjoyable than actually improving yourself, managing your home and being more productive? If so, I’m right there with you! So, what to do?
Well, I think that for me, I have to focus on small changes. Anything big, and there is just way too much inertia to overcome. Small changes each day instead of big, systemic changes that I immediately become resistant to them. Perhaps by making those small changes, over and over, in the end, big changes will be achieved.
In addition to focusing on small changes, I will also have to be willing to not only ask for help but accept it when given (even if not asked for). This may be the tougher of the two. But, listening to God and to others who have valuable guidance to give is important. More importantly, beyond listening, I have to be willing to accept and sometimes adopt their guidance.