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Five Minute Friday – Finding comfort in a swimsuit and your own skin

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I am once again joining the Five Minute Friday link up this week. The prompt this week is “comfort”.

Here goes:

I often hear something that someone else says and it plants a seed of doubt in my brain that will start to take root and grow like a weed.  These weeds fill in space where there was once confidence and comfort and create feeling of doubt and discomfort.  I am in my late 40s.  I have come to know a few things about myself.  First, I am not at all comfortable with skin revealing clothing or swim suits.  Even when I was younger, I never wore a bikini.  I was a competitive swimmer and lifeguard and my goal for swimsuits was speed and comfort, depending on the role they would be playing.  I never liked bikinis and I certainly don’t have a body for one now that I am in my late 40s.  But, the other day, a friend of mine was talking about getting a new suit and how she had ordered some tankinis online and was trying them on for another of our friends and her husband and her husband said, “Uh, no.  No way.  You are not wearing some grandma suit.”  Now, it just so happened that I was also in the market for a new suit, not having got one in two years.  And I immediately started doubting all my suit choices I was focused on.  Were they grandma suits?  Was I going to look even older than I really am?  Were people going to think I looked frumpy and pitiful?  Do I need to lose weight?  Should I do something about my age spots?  What about that cellulite?

It was never ending!  And none of it was about ME or what my comfort place was.  It was about others and their comfort places and their expectations.  I am realizing, finally, at the age of 48, that my comfort is determined only by me.  If I let others determine what I do, without first asking if it is what I want, it will create discomfort.  And that discomfort is what leads to a lack of confidence.  Feeling comfortable in our own skin, in our own fashion choices, in our own spaces is what builds confidence.  So, figure out what makes YOU comfortable and focus on doing, wearing and being those things.  It isn’t always easy with the pressure of the world around us, but God made us who we are for a reason.  And when we let that person shine through brightly, whether wearing a bikini, tankini or Speedo racing suit, we let God’s light shine.  And, by the way, my friend looks fantastic in a bikini (and probably looks pretty fine in a tankini too, but I didn’t see her).  Her light is shining bright.

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I will admit I went a little over this week.  But, it felt good.  I got a new suit.  It is a faux tankini (a one piece with a drape on top that makes it look like a tankini – in the photo below, but not on me).  My 8-year-old DD gave it her approval.  I think it’s cute.  Would a grandma wear it?  Sure.  But, so would a 30-year-old, so I’ll split the difference.

Published inFive Minute Friday

5 Comments

  1. Figure out what makes YOU comfortable and focus on doing, wearing and being those things. Especially when we get older.

  2. That’s the great thing about growing older, we are finally comfortable in our own skin! Who cares what the world thinks!

  3. I think that happens more often as we get older. I am more comfortable in my skin these days at 52 than I have ever been before. What’s gonna happen when I’m 80? I might just wear that bikini and not care, lolol. Your title had me. I HAD to come see how in the world you were finding comfort in a swimsuit…btw, cute! I love the tankini’s, so easy for the bathroom. My suit is a bright yellow floral with a little skirt, not a tankini though.

  4. Liz Liz

    I had a colour and style analysis once (one of the best and most long lasting effect presents ever!) and I’ve never forgotten what the consultant told me – we all know what suits us really; it’s the purchases we get talked into that we regret. We have to quieten all those other voices and just listen to our heart/gut to know if we are comfortable (and stylish) in something or not. A ‘not sure’ is a ‘no’. My clothes shopping has become so much more efficient and economical – and so has my confidence in dressing as ‘me’.
    (Visiting from Five Minute Friday #77)

  5. ” Feeling comfortable in our own skin, in our own fashion choices, in our own spaces is what builds confidence.”
    I like this statement.
    And I like the suit. It’s classy 😉
    I wear bathing suits like this too despite I’m 32. I feel comfortable in them
    Throw on a straw hat and retro shades 🙂

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