I am once again joining the Five Minute Friday link up this week. The prompt this week is “comfort”.
I often hear something that someone else says and it plants a seed of doubt in my brain that will start to take root and grow like a weed. These weeds fill in space where there was once confidence and comfort and create feeling of doubt and discomfort. I am in my late 40s. I have come to know a few things about myself. First, I am not at all comfortable with skin revealing clothing or swim suits. Even when I was younger, I never wore a bikini. I was a competitive swimmer and lifeguard and my goal for swimsuits was speed and comfort, depending on the role they would be playing. I never liked bikinis and I certainly don’t have a body for one now that I am in my late 40s. But, the other day, a friend of mine was talking about getting a new suit and how she had ordered some tankinis online and was trying them on for another of our friends and her husband and her husband said, “Uh, no. No way. You are not wearing some grandma suit.” Now, it just so happened that I was also in the market for a new suit, not having got one in two years. And I immediately started doubting all my suit choices I was focused on. Were they grandma suits? Was I going to look even older than I really am? Were people going to think I looked frumpy and pitiful? Do I need to lose weight? Should I do something about my age spots? What about that cellulite?
It was never ending! And none of it was about ME or what my comfort place was. It was about others and their comfort places and their expectations. I am realizing, finally, at the age of 48, that my comfort is determined only by me. If I let others determine what I do, without first asking if it is what I want, it will create discomfort. And that discomfort is what leads to a lack of confidence. Feeling comfortable in our own skin, in our own fashion choices, in our own spaces is what builds confidence. So, figure out what makes YOU comfortable and focus on doing, wearing and being those things. It isn’t always easy with the pressure of the world around us, but God made us who we are for a reason. And when we let that person shine through brightly, whether wearing a bikini, tankini or Speedo racing suit, we let God’s light shine. And, by the way, my friend looks fantastic in a bikini (and probably looks pretty fine in a tankini too, but I didn’t see her). Her light is shining bright.
I will admit I went a little over this week. But, it felt good. I got a new suit. It is a faux tankini (a one piece with a drape on top that makes it look like a tankini – in the photo below, but not on me). My 8-year-old DD gave it her approval. I think it’s cute. Would a grandma wear it? Sure. But, so would a 30-year-old, so I’ll split the difference.