Living in Too Much, but Feeling Not Enough

I am living in the world of the Too Much.  I have Too Much stuff.  I eat Too Much food.  I have Too Much stuff to do.  Are you living that life as well?  That world is easy to get to.  It is all around us.  The grocery store, with all its shelves and product choices.  The clothing store, with all its hanging racks and different styles and different sizes.  The shoe store, with shelves and shelves of heels and flats and tennis shoes and so much more.  There are entire online businesses devoted to socks now.  There are that many different styles of socks!

We went out to eat tonight at a great Hawaiian food place and now we have two huge containers of food in our refrigerator because all three of us probably could have eaten just one of the plates we got, but we all got our own.  I often leave meals feeling uncomfortable because I ate so much.  I cleaned out our refrigerator today because it was so full of leftovers that I couldn’t fit anything in there.  I threw away a lot of food.  It is wasteful, but portions are huge nowadays and cooking for 2 1/2 people is difficult because recipes are mostly made for a family of four or six.

My to-do list is huge and constantly growing.  In one hour today, I received six emails requesting different paperwork from me for work.  This is all in addition to the regular paperwork and grading I have to do.  I sometimes receive so many requests in a day that I forget what was requested.  One request I received in those six today was one I have received twice before.  I have opened the document three times in the last month to complete it and every single time I have been interrupted and thus didn’t finish it.

So, what is it with the Too Much life?  And with so much Too Much, why do I seem to feel like Not Enough most of the time?  I feel like I don’t have enough, so I go out and get more or I order more online.  I feel like I don’t have enough food, so I go to the grocery and get more, even though there is nowhere to put it in the refrigerator without throwing out other food.  I feel like I’m not doing enough or I’m missing out on doing other things, so I commit to new things and add things to my list.  I can’t finish what is there, but I add more.

I think I would like my 2018 motto to be Less.  Less stuff, less food, less to-do’s.  More feeling like I have enough.  I read an article where it talked about halving things in order to make reductions in life easier.  Eat half of what we otherwise would eat at a meal.  Get rid of half the clothes we no longer wear.  Do half of what you put on the to-do list and figure out a way to get rid of the rest.  I’m not sure it would work with everything, but I’m willing to try it out on a few things.  I want some white space in my life.  I want down time.  I want to be bored.  I want to wonder what to do with myself, without having the guilt of knowing what I SHOULD be doing.

I don’t know if any of this will actually happen.  The world of Too Much feels like Hotel California in the Eagles’ song: You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.”  But, I’m hoping it is just a feeling.  A feeling that can be overcome by action.