Long on weekend, short on sleep.
I included Social Saturdays in my blog lineup because I wanted to force myself to form a community where I live. A community of real, live people I see face-to-face on a regular basis. I have a ton of long-distance friends, but not so many in my own city, my own workplace, etc. I find it difficult to get and stay involved in group activities. It is especially difficult because of my schedule, but it is also difficult because being with people who I don’t know very well seems exhausting to me. I either feel constant anxiety about fitting in or I feel constant shame for not really caring about fitting in (depending on the group I’m with).
So, I have avoided social activities the past couple of weeks. I’ve had decent excuses, but I’ve missed multiple opportunities for being social with work mates and community groups. I definitely need to force myself to do some social things. I did go to church last week, but I don’t really talk to people there other than shaking hands at the beginning of the service. I plan to go tomorrow as well – and maybe I will force myself to talk to some people – at least ask them a question or comment on something while having coffee before or after the service. I have an opportunity to go to a crafting group tonight, but I’m a little short on money for the next couple of weeks and I already have huge babysitting expenses for next week because my husband is traveling for work during the middle of the week, so I don’t feel like I should spend even more money we don’t have to go out tonight. Plus, I have so much work to do around the house and for my jobs (see, good excuses).
I guess if nothing else, having this in my blog lineup forces me to recognize when I’ve been totally unsocial.
How do you all meet people and find people that either (1) don’t make you anxious about yourself and/or (2) you actually want to spend time with? There are some people who I think I would really enjoy spending time with, but those are never the people who are at these events I go to. I would like to think of myself as a social being, but I find myself acting more like a recluse most of the time.