Social Saturday

Social Saturdays #2 – Fail

alone

I included Social Saturdays in my blog lineup because I wanted to force myself to form a community where I live.  A community of real, live people I see face-to-face on a regular basis.  I have a ton of long-distance friends, but not so many in my own city, my own workplace, etc.  I find it difficult to get and stay involved in group activities.  It is especially difficult because of my schedule, but it is also difficult because being with people who I don’t know very well seems exhausting to me.  I either feel constant anxiety about fitting in or I feel constant shame for not really caring about fitting in (depending on the group I’m with).

So, I have avoided social activities the past couple of weeks.  I’ve had decent excuses, but I’ve missed multiple opportunities for being social with work mates and community groups.  I definitely need to force myself to do some social things.  I did go to church last week, but I don’t really talk to people there other than shaking hands at the beginning of the service.  I plan to go tomorrow as well – and maybe I will force myself to talk to some people – at least ask them a question or comment on something while having coffee before or after the service.  I have an opportunity to go to a crafting group tonight, but I’m a little short on money for the next couple of weeks and I already have huge babysitting expenses for next week because my husband is traveling for work during the middle of the week, so I don’t feel like I should spend even more money we don’t have to go out tonight.  Plus, I have so much work to do around the house and for my jobs (see, good excuses).

I guess if nothing else, having this in my blog lineup forces me to recognize when I’ve been totally unsocial.

How do you all meet people and find people that either (1) don’t make you anxious about yourself and/or (2) you actually want to spend time with?  There are some people who I think I would really enjoy spending time with, but those are never the people who are at these events I go to.  I would like to think of myself as a social being, but I find myself acting more like a recluse most of the time.

4 thoughts on “Social Saturdays #2 – Fail”

  1. Ah, I’m afraid I don’t have any answers, because I have the same dilemma. Meeting new people is exhausting to me. Actually, even when around friends whom I enjoy spending time with me, I can end up feeling tired. For me, there has to a balance of some alone time mixed with the social time.

    The best thing that’s helped me is having a purpose when I attend a social. Maybe I find people to compliment. Or maybe I take photos. Or….? This takes my mind off me and helps the social feel more fun. Sadly, there are the days when I’m too wiped to push myself. 😦

    Perhaps, you can encourage yourself to attend one social per week and slowly increase the amount to the maximum which feels comfortable. Maybe one social can be a new situation and the other can be something not so new such as church or something related to an interest such as crafts. I’ll be interested to hear other answers, as I could use the advice too.

    Like

    1. Great suggestions! I love the idea of having a purpose when I go somewhere, but I am often feeling too wiped to push myself as well. I did go to a new Moms club meeting yesterday and it was great. But, I definitely considered backing out. In the end, I’m really glad I went and I already met a few people there who I feel like I connected with, which is unusual for a first meeting. I think I need groups with structure or planned activity rather than just “socializing”. 🙂

      Like

      1. I hear you about the structure. The socials which have worked the best for my husband are game nights and movie nights. Potlucks and other socials which are free form tend to leave us scrambling to know what to say and how to act.

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s