Unbridled joy. How many of us have that feeling as adults? The picture of my daughter above captures what I consider to be pure joy. She was so happy to be on that swing, flying high in the air, and feeling the breeze in her hair. As adults, we seem to have a habit of focusing on “controlling” our joy or, even worse, focusing on the struggle.
I am spending a couple of days of my Spring Break with my mom. My dad passed away in January and even before that, his health was not good for a couple of years. And even before that my mom’s health has been up and down with cancer coming and going and coming back again. My mom seems to have lost all joy. I can’t remember the last time she has had a lasting smile or a full day of enjoying herself. She has a lot of physical pain and even more mental anguish and anxiety. I struggle to know what to do and say that will at least not cause her more pain and anguish. It is sad, but it is also frustrating. I saw a post last night that said “Telling someone who is depressed that they shouldn’t be because their life is great is like telling someone with asthma that they shouldn’t struggle to breathe because there is plenty of air in the room.” But, it is hard to know what to tell them or what to say. It all seems so overwhelming.
So, I am trying to focus on my own attitude and my own feelings. I am trying to make sure that I am able to focus on happiness and joy and capture moments like the one above with my daughter. I may not be able to capture that same amount of joy anymore, but I can at least capture little bits of joy and truly bask in them like sunlight on a spring day after the rain and clouds have passed.
I wish I could figure out a way to get my mom’s rain and clouds to pass…but, they are there. And they seem to be pretty steadfast in their daily appearance.