Five Minute Friday – Belong

Five Minute Friday

I am once again participating in Five Minute Friday.  Lisa-Jo is on vacation, so it is being hosted this week by Crystal Stine!  The topic for the week is “Belong” – the rules are always the same.  Five minutes of writing with no editing and no second guessing.  So, here goes:

I love the feeling of belonging.  I guess you could say I long to belong.  I have always felt this way to a certain extent.  I don’t know if it is a reaction to my mom’s seeming resistant to “belonging” to anything.  She didn’t like organizations.  She didn’t get involved in groups.  And even when I was on teams when I was younger, she would choose the more solo efforts required of parents rather than getting involved in group planning, etc.  Part of it may have been my dad’s alcoholism.  Part of it was probably her constant doubting/judging of herself.  But, there was definitely a resistance there.  So, maybe my want/need to belong was a sort of rebellious action.

In high school, I ran for student government despite being one of lower status on the high school social scales.  I was a successful athlete, so I had some recognition despite the fact I didn’t really dress right and my hair was always short and somewhat lacking in style due my 4 – 6 hours of swimming everyday (I was on the swim team, diving team, gymnastics team – I didn’t have time or money to have fancy hair or clothes).  But, I ran for an uncontested office and won.  I also participated in our county’s Jr. Miss competition and won and was able to compete for the State title.  Again, not exactly where I “belonged,” but I loved it.  It seemed like it opened up a whole new space for me.  A space where I was part of a group.  I was “approved”.  I did social things due to my participation in these groups.  It was fun.  It was social.  And I loved it.  I decided that even when I didn’t quite feel like I belonged somewhere, I could still be a part of something.

I am still fighting that battle.  I join mom’s groups.  I went to my church’s women’s retreat despite not knowing another person at the church yet.  I volunteered at VBX and loved it.  And I’m sure I will be involved in my daughter’s school next year.  I don’t always feel like I “belong,” but it is still good to be part of something bigger than myself.

10 thoughts on “Five Minute Friday – Belong

  1. I’m so impressed that you have been able join groups and get involved without knowing anyone! That’s such a struggle for me! Good job!

    Like

    • Thanks! It has not always been easy and some months go by where I don’t get out at all because it all just seems to hard. But, I’ve been much better lately and I find that I am starting to settle in with a few people. So, hopefully that will stick and I will find my “tribe” so-to-speak. I hope the same for you. Don’t give up! Keep putting yourself out there every once in a while!

      Like

  2. Over here from FMF. 🙂

    I loved the vulnerability in this post. I’ve always thrown myself into social things as well, mostly to fill the loneliness. Unfortunately it never quite seemed to work. 😛 Meh. Best of luck to you as you join mom’s groups and other groups! My son is turning one soon and I still haven’t found a mom’s group, though I know I should.

    Like

    • I am so with you on it often not seeming to work. I often just feel out of place. But, every once in a while I find a group of people who make me feel like I really “belong”! So, don’t give up!

      Like

  3. Stopping by from FMF – good for you for jumping in there. Not that you asked for advice (I can’t help myself) – I highly recommend you get on your child’s PTA board. I was a late-starter with groups with my kids and PTA has created a wonderful group of friends and fellow moms and like-minded volunteers and an easy, comfortable relationship with teachers and administrators that comes in handy as you try and navigate up through the school system. Good luck! (I was in Junior MIss too – won the talent portion – great memories!)

    Like

    • Thanks for stopping by and I definitely am going to get involved in the PTA. My DD starts Kindergarten next year, so I’m looking forward to that new group who will have the school in common. And I like the idea of having relationships with teachers and administrators as well.
      How funny that you did Junior Miss. It was a great experience for me. It was fun to be involved the following year as well – I did both the local and the State competition as an alumni and had a great time. I may have to see if they have one in my area now that I can get involved in! 🙂

      Like

  4. Interesting article on belonging. I often feel out of place in large groups and don’t volunteer much either, and I guess it goes back to my childhood years too. My parents always felt the 5 of us in the family were enough for each other, and we didn’t really need to belong to any groups. Grew up pretty independent that way. But I do like being part of small caring groups, that we can share and grow in. Like your thoughts and candid style. thanks for sharing.

    Like

    • Thanks! I think that larger families who stay in one area together can easily fall into becoming their own group. I am often jealous of that kind of support system. We don’t live very close to any family, so I’ve had to seek out other groups. And it is hard! And yes, small caring groups are the best, by far! Thanks for visiting!

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s