Well, I missed yesterday’s Five Minute Friday, so I’ve decided to do it on Saturday! I am not sure why it didn’t get done yesterday. I’ve been feeling pretty blah the past couple of days (very exact description, I know). I think it is one of those things where you imagine how wonderful everything is going to be when X happens (my hubby gets home after seven weeks), then X happens and nothing really changes. I mean, I’m glad he’s home and we were happy to see him, but there wasn’t that dramatic shift, that WOW factor or, really, more like the there wasn’t that weight lifted from off my shoulders. I realize it isn’t his weight to lift, but I had still hoped that his absence was a big part of the weight, but in reality, it was just a small part. And everything else is still here, weighing on me. I’m still sighing…
But, I’m excited to be reading Say Goodbye to Survival Mode: 9 Simple Strategies to Stress Less, Sleep More, and Restore Your Passion for Life by Crystal Paine over at Money Saving Mom (one of my favorite blogs). A couple of things in the first dozen pages that jumped out at me. First, the fact that she obviously crawled inside my brain and reported what I felt like on the first two pages:
With my feet glued to the sticky kitchen floor, I scanned the perimeter of my messy house. The dishes. The towering pile of laundry mocking me from the bedroom corner for the past week. The dust. The carpet needing to be vacuumed. The bathroom screaming for a good scrubbing. I looked at my hopelessly long to-do list I had scribbled on a scrap of paper…I wanted to run away from it all. I was exhausted. I was stressed to the max. I felt stuck…
Things are a bit better at this moment – the house is a bit cleaner. I’ve cleaned out my gmail inbox from 8000 emails to under 500 as of today and I’m still going on it. But, it is one of those things where I know it is just a matter of time before Bean goes back to school, I go back to teaching and traveling and hubby goes back to traveling and everything is going to start to crumble. Small chunks of organization and cleanliness falling off, ready to smack me on the head at any time. It isn’t well put together. It isn’t stable. It isn’t set up to be maintained at this point. And I KNOW that. And it terrifies me. Absolutely terrifies me.
So, yeah – I’m reading the book. Which I will be reporting on/reviewing in the next few days. But, today is Five Minute Friday on a Saturday.
Yesterday’s topic was “Here”…so, here goes…
Here is where I am right now. Whether I like it or not. I am not always happy with here – there are dirty carpets that get cleaned and then have mystery spots once again arise a week or so later. There is an annoying puppy who is actually a very sweet dog, but has way too much energy and wants to chew everything in the house up including the cord on my husband’s beloved smoker and my DD’s favorite toys. There are neighborhood kids constantly knocking and ringing the door bell during the time I am trying to find peace and quiet in my day. There is a pile of dirty dishes in the sink and throw pillows that have been, well…thrown. There are crayons here and there and everywhere and laundry that needs to be put away piled up in a basket.
But, there is also a ton of love. There is love between our family members. There is love between the dog and our family members. There is not so much love between the dog and our cat, but even they are entertaining at times. There is love for coloring and painting and art hangs proudly on our walls – not evenly or in a planned way, but proudly all the same. There is love between the neighborhood kids and my daughter. There is even love between our neighbors.
So, despite here not being perfect or even pretty most of the time, it is full of love and laughs and yes, longing for…more or better. But, it is probably the case that no matter where we were, that would be true. So, here is where I will stay. And here is where I will try to be present and appreciative.
There you go – a day late, but hopefully not a dollar short! Enjoy!