Five Minute Friday

Five Minute Friday – Still

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What an appropriate prompt as I post on this blog for the first time in a long time.  I am “still” here!  I am “still” struggling to find time and ideas and motivation to write on this public space, even though at times I have loved it and found comfort in it.  I am “still” being hard on myself for never sticking with things in my life that I set a goal or make a commitment to do.  I am “still” struggling to keep my life on track and my home organized.  But, I am also “still” being a mom to a little girl with a heart transplant, working a full-time job and another part-time job, leading a Girl Scout troop (who are not Brownies and Juniors) and keeping a home (just barely).   I am “still” looking at a dining room table piled high with things to deal with and put away instead of being a lovely place to eat our meals together.  I am “still” looking at a work bag full of papers to grade.  I am “still” looking at a calendar that is packed with too many things, none of which I don’t want to do, but all of which make me feel tired to think about.  I am “still” eating out too often and trying to find the magic words to create a life of peaceful routines and energy to do it all.  I am “still” missing my mom, who passed away two years ago (Kate’s post today really brought that back).  I am “still” feeling like I could do so much more and so much better in life, but I “still” don’t know exactly how to do that.

So many things change, but so many things “still” remain.