Tuesday Truth

Tuesday Truth…Embracing the Fun in Year 48

I can’t believe that I will be THIS old in one week:


Yeah…I won’t be THAT old, but you know what I mean.  I used to think 48 was ancient.  Now it seems like just another year.  Trying to make every year the best year ever is getting exhausting.  So, I’m just going to try to make this year a good one.  Simple. Some things I want more of:  reading, time outside, travel,exercise, and fun.  I have not really been having as much fun in my life as I would like to.  I need to let loose.  I find myself constantly on guard.  I really can’t explain why.  And sometimes it isn’t even conscious.  I want to let that go.  So, I’m hoping to make year 48 my year of “letting loose”.  After all, if you can’t let loose at age 48, when can you let loose?  And letting loose will not include a bunch of “goals” and “plans” and such.  That isn’t very loose is it?

Now, I’m not going crazy and quitting my jobs or anything, so I still need my planner.  And I still have a 7 year old, so there is school and activities, etc.  But, I don’t need to feel tied to my laptop and constantly playing catch up.  It will take some “planning” to make it work, but it doesn’t have to be a list of action items that I check off as the year goes by or specific goals that I end up giving up on and then being upset about my “failure”.   The major requirement is getting off my couch and out of my comfort zone.  There are a ton of opportunities for fun, but I choose to skip a lot of them for some unknown reason.  So, this year, I will embrace the fun!

I think that as we get older, we sometimes lose our capacity for joy.  We let things get in the way of us experiencing joy when and where we could.  We have so much baggage that has built up over time that we have problems setting it down so we can enjoy the fun.  If we’re weighed down with problems and past wrongs and frustrations and all those bags are so heavy, we can’t focus on enjoying ourselves.  So, maybe the key is to set our bags down at the door and take a load off!  That will be what I try to do at each and every opportunity this year – set my baggage down, no matter how difficult it is to pile up at the door and let go of it all!  Because taking that load off will allow me to loosen up and enjoy myself.  And who knows, maybe I will find a way to leave some of it behind at each occasion.  A small package here, a piece of baggage there and I will feel less weighed down all the time!

So, here is to my year 48!  The year of embracing the fun, letting go of the baggage and doing the things I want to do while still getting done the things I need to do.


Crazy Kindle Library - CKL

My Crazy Kindle Library and Challenge for Year 47

I have always been a collector of books.  I have books in multiple places in my house, shelves of them in my office at work and I will often visit Barnes and Noble just to wonder around and touch books.  It is kind of an obsession.  I got a Nook way back when they first came out, but I missed the feel of the books.  I missed turning the pages.  The smell of the paper.  But, really, I just liked touching the books, not actually reading them.  So, I would buy books and put them on shelves and there they would sit.  I think my friends and family have read more of my books than I have (I am a generous book lender).  So, I forced myself to stop buying books.  But, then when I got my iPad (free through work), I discovered the Kindle reader app and I could collect books, many for free, and not have them piled up anywhere.  They were all there…inside my Kindle…should I ever want to actually read them.  But, I didn’t have the guilt of looking at them.  They were hidden away.  Out of sight.  There wasn’t a lot of reading, but I didn’t feel guilty about them.


My kindle list of books is a mish mash of genres.  I have fiction, non-fiction, lots of mysteries, some recipe books, quite a few parenting books.  Just a whole lotta literature there!  So, today, I took my iPad to swim lessons and I sorted the books alphabetically, which is basically totally random.  And I started reading the first book.  And I’m going to see what I can get through in my crazy kindle list over the next year (tomorrow is my birthday).

I am a little shocked to say I am 47.  That seems so….well, old.  🙂  I realize that it should have been obvious that I was getting to be that old, but it still seems way to close to 50 for me.  I don’t feel like a 47 year old.  Having a six year old is probably a big part of that, but not having achieved a lot of what I would consider a middle aged person to have achieved in life is also part of it.  I mean, I have a career that I love, but even it seems somewhat underperforming when I look at the fact that I am a Part Time Faculty (although, I’m not, that is what I’m categorized as) and that I am not really looking at a lot of space for advancement (I don’t need that as much as I need the stable benefits with my DD’s health) and that I haven’t really figured out how to make my life work without a lot of chaos (despite what I consider to be my best attempts).  So, yeah.  Here I am.  Entering my 47th year without a whole lot more to show for it than when I started this blog two years ago.  I’m not disappointed persay.  I just feel like I’m underperforming in most aspects of my life.  And 47 seems like a good year to challenge myself.  I’m still shy of 50 (which seems like a rather intimidating number as an age), which gives me some time to make things a little better.  A chance to shine a little.  A chance to, as the blog title reads, BE MORE!

So, I’m starting with the As in my crazy Kindle Library as a bit of a challenge to start reading.  A lot.  And to get something out of that reading.  Enjoyment.  Education.  Experiences.  Whatever it is, I’m going to look in the book.  I will probably mix in some actual paper-based books as the year goes on.  But, I’m going to focus my efforts on the Crazy Kindle Libary (CKL).  I’ll post updates here and let you know how the reading is going and what I’m loving, learning and living because of the CKL.  It has stuck my fancy.

The first book I’m reading is one called Abandon by Blake Crouch.  Not to be confused with the trilogy series by Meg Cabot.  The beginning definitely sucked me in and I’m hooked.  I can’t wait to find out what happened in Christmas 1893 that left only a small, murderous child alive.  Paranormal, mystery and relationships.  Sounds like a good read to me!

So, tomorrow I am going out to dinner with friends and then to the Concert in the Park downtown where some “Honky Tonk” band will be playing.  I’ve scheduled a sitter, six of us are going and I’m actually looking forward to it.  So, here’s to year 47, as old as it seems, I’ll live it to the fullest.


Quicky Post – Back to Work…


Borrowed from: http://letsgreet.blogspot.com
Borrowed from: http://letsgreet.blogspot.com

So, yeah.  It is Sunday night, 9:30 p.m. and I have a pile of clean laundry on the couch next to me that needs to be folded and put away, a ginormous pile of laundry that still needs to be done upstairs, a broken washing machine (belt went out – smelled like a bad vacuum in our garage and the agitator is no longer agitating except to agitate me), a pile of grading still to do (even with the week off – I feel as if I accomplished next-to-nothing as far as grading is concerned…I HATE grading), a guest bed to remake for another house guest who is headed in this Thursday (after three house guests for a couple of nights and one that stayed four nights and just left today), a DD’s bed to remake after said house guest (even though she doesn’t sleep in her bed, I like the facade of it being made up for her each day), a 300+ competitor Rookie Speech and Debate tournament to plan for and host this next weekend, and only two more weeks until Finals (which makes that pile of grading oh-so-much-more daunting)!

The broken washing machine is a real pain in my you-know-what about now.  But, I’m just going to find another used one online and have someone come and haul this one away.  I may have them haul it, the horrible too-large-for-our-house footstool that I have stashed in my guest closet and some other crap we have in the backyard as well.  Or, maybe whoever brings another washer will take this one to repair and resell.  I am pretty sure replacing a belt would fix the problem, but neither me nor my husband has any patience for that, so I think a new washer will probably be just as economical for us.

On a positive note, I am NOT going to Ohio like I was supposed to this coming weekend.  Such a relief.  Even though all this stuff is happening, it would be 100X worse if I knew I were leaving town for five days starting on Thursday.  AND my husband’s birthday is Tuesday.  I’ve already scheduled a sitter and we’re going to his favorite restaurant for dinner and I’m going to surprise him by taking him out to our local casino afterwards and giving him $100 cash to burn.  Hopefully he can turn it into more, which he sometimes does (more often, he just loses it all, but hey, its his birthday).  But either way, we’ll have a good time.

So, that’s it for me tonight. I have to send out a bunch of flyers for that Rookie Tournament and our semester’s Speakers’ Showcase (oh yeah, forgot to list that – which is happening on Wednesday night) which will get 100+ audience members we hope!  Busy week.  Ready for semester to be OVER.  Totally over.  Grading done, classes done, moving on over.  I am teaching a Winter Session class starting January 5, so my break will not be long and if I don’t have the grading done early, it will be even shorter.  So, that is my motivation now.  Grade, grade, grade so I can have a full two weeks off of EVERYTHING having to do with school (well, probably a little planning will need to be finished for this crazy 14 day = a full semester winter session class…this will be interesting)!  That is my goal.

Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving last week!