Five Minute Friday, Uncategorized

Five Minute Friday – Expect

I’m joining Five Minute Friday again this week.  I missed it last week.  I almost did it a couple of days late, but decided not to.  I like the idea of doing it ON Friday.  This week’s topic is “Expect”.  Join in if you would like to be part of a supportive community with great messages to share!

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So, here goes:

I have high expectations for myself and my life.  I often over estimate what I’ll be able to do or get done in a certain amount of time.  I often have expected that things will come easily for me (because many things have in the past).  But, life is not so simple or easy and I often find myself coming out the other side disappointed.  It has not yet caused me to change my expectations though.  I somehow stay optimistic (perhaps unrealistic?) in hopes that even those things that didn’t come easily for me will still come.  I still expect that I will be able to accomplish what I need to accomplish, even if it takes longer than I thought it would originally.

Part of this “positivity” is my optimism.  Part of it is hope.  Part of it is that I realize expecting little doesn’t do much for my motivation or my drive.  So,  I would rather have high expectations and fall short than have low expectations and not have tried for something better.  Part of the positivity is based on the fact that I have had such huge blessings in my life, how could I not recognize where things have come more easily to me than to others (Bean’s heart is one thing that always comes to mind…we waited such a short time and we’ve been so lucky with her health since).

So, I expect…not necessarily “the best” but definitely good things to happen and for me to be able to do what I truly need to do when I truly need to do it.  So far, thank the Lord, I have been allowed to experience that, for the most part.  So, yes, I have had a rough seven years or so, with my parents’ illnesses and Bean’s illnesses, but things could have been so much worse.  And most of the time, I think I was pretty consistently thinking that things would be better, not worse.  I wasn’t always right about that, but the thoughts kept me sane.


That’s it for this Five Minute Friday!  Join up!  I’d love to hear what you have to say!

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Thankfulness Challenge, Uncategorized

Five Minute Friday – Reflect

I’m once again participating in Five Minute Friday over at katemontaung.com.

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This week’s prompt is REFLECT:

Although this is a natural time of the year to begin looking forward – to the new year, to a new semester and to new goals, it is also a time to REFLECT on the past – the past year, the past semester and my past goals.  I am often very hard on myself when I reflect.  I tend to focus on the things that didn’t happen, the things that didn’t go well, the things that were not achieved.  I need to make sure that I also include all the things that DID happen, the things that DID go well and the things that DID get achieved.

This past year has been a hard one.  This semester began almost immediately after losing my mom.  And prior to that, the summer was spent dealing with her illness, her inability to find good care, and her constant pain and suffering.  Almost right after the semester began, we discovered that my daughter’s heart is not working as well as it once was.  So, reflecting on that, I am happy that I made it through this semester without too much loss of time or teaching.  I am happy that I DID get to do some fun things with my daughter.  I am happy that I DID achieve some goals I had for staying up with grading better (not great, but better).  I am happy that our Speech and Debate team had a great semester and I was able to be an active part of that.

When I reflect on the last half of this year, I am both sad and satisfied.  I am both disappointed and hopeful.  I am both anxious and confident.  I am both reflective and forward-looking.

Mostly, I am extremely excited about a new year of opportunities!

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That’s it.  What about you?  Reflect!

Five Minute Friday

Five Minute Friday – Good

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I am participating in Five Minute Friday again!  I can do anything for five minutes.  Right?  So can you!  Write for five minutes on this week’s word:  GOOD and then link up over at Heading Home!

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So, this week’s topic, “Good” is kind of an obvious connection to this Friday being Good Friday.  But, I’m going to skip the holiday/Holy day connection and just focus on “good”.

I am spending the weekend with my mom again who is in hospice care.  She isn’t terribly ill (not like my Dad was when he was in hospice care), but she has a lot of pain (cancer) and even before this she suffered from a lot of anxiety and depression.  It is so hard sometimes to be around her because everything is so negative and although I know that is just her depression and anxiety speaking a lot of the time and that she has no control over it necessarily, it reminds me how important it is to recognize the good when you find some.  Sometimes it is but just a grain of sand on a beach of “bad” or suffering, but that grain can make all the difference in the world to the person who is able to find it and take it and hold on to it for dear life.  I guess I can sort of tie this in the Holy day connection, because that is basically what Easter is all about – finding the good in the tragic circumstances of the crucifixion.  Recognizing that from all this pain and suffering would come good and grace.  That hope against all hopes.

So, I’m going to try to start focusing on the good in my life more.  I’m going to try not to complain as much.  I’m going to try to focus on the grain of greatness instead of the sea of suffering.

–DONE.

There you have it!  I hope you’ll link up and join the write-in over at Five Minute Friday!  🙂