Five Minute Friday

Five Minute Friday #1, 2017 – Connect

I am joining in for the first Five Minute Friday of 2017!  I’m excited to get started writing more consistently this year (and hopefully building my blog into something “more” as well) and Five Minute Friday is always a great exercise with a wonderful community along for the ride.  This week’s prompt is “Connect”.

connect

Here goes:

Well.  I am finding it somewhat difficult to connect to the prompt connect.  I’m just not sure where to go with it.  A lot comes to mind.  Connecting with others.  Making connections in my life.  Connecting the dots.  But, none of it is really driving me to write about it.  So, I guess I’ll write about how sometimes, it is difficult to connect with other people and things and that it is okay for that to be the case.  We would not appreciate the times when connections were strong and meaningful if those types of connections were constant and consistent.

I often have problems making close friends for example.  I just don’t connect with others as much as I would like.  And it isn’t for lack of trying.  But, when I do find someone I connect with, I feel it strongly and that connection is there whether we are spending a lot of time together or just a few minutes here and there.  I feel the same about entertainment and activities.  I don’t often feel strong connections with TV shows or movies or exercise programs.  Others seem to find something and really connect with it and loooooove it.  But, I don’t as often.  I connect with things from my past more than anything else.  Perhaps that is where I have my strongest connections – to my past.


That’s it.  I feel that this week was tough.  I’m not sure why.  It has been a long and somewhat stressful day (although I didn’t do much).  My DD is not feeling well.  And although she isn’t feeling horrible either, she did start running a fever tonight and with her past, I seem to be in a bit of a PTSD anxiety attack.  It isn’t horrible either.  I’m not panicked or anything, but I do feel a bit of trepidation about planning and what is going to happen.  In all reality, she will probably get better in a couple of days, without any complications.  We went to the pediatrician today and her lungs sounded good, she had nothing in her ears, her throat didn’t look too bad and she was negative for strep.  So, all good signs, but then she spikes a fever.  It just makes me wonder what is going on in that little body of hers.  And, in reality, it is probably nothing but a normal 7 year old virus that is running its course.  But, in a heart transplant recipient, it doesn’t ever seem like a virus or illness is normal or can just simply run its course without some concern.

So, I’m watching what I connect with – Poirot – on Netflix.  I’m waiting for the coming “Storm of the Decade” here in California, which should be hitting any time now.  I’m intermittently cleaning and organizing and purging.  I’m looking forward to a weekend of quiet and catching up and preparing for Spring 2017.  My DD is supposed to go back to school on Monday.  We will see how she is feeling.  But, I don’t have to worry because I’m not working next week!  We are scheduled to go to heart clinic on Tuesday, but with the illness/fever happening this weekend and the storm of the decade hitting, I think we will be rescheduling that.  So, that sets us up for a relatively quiet week ahead as well.  I can connect with that…

Tuesday Truth

Tuesday Truth

This week’s Tuesday Truths are here!

Tuesday Truth

First, illness sucks.  It especially sucks when the person who is ill is 7 years old and just spent three weeks recovering from surgery.  That’s right.  My DD, who had just started feeling better a week ago (after her pacemaker surgery) seems to have picked up a flu bug or something.  She woke up last night at 2 a.m. complaining of stomach pains, was awake and asleep and awake and asleep the rest of the night, was determined to go to VBS today so she could have her planned play date with a school friend and then one hour into it showed up where I was volunteering crying about her stomach really hurting and having a headache.  So, we came home.  She took Tylenol, watched TV for about an hour and then slept for over three hours.  She woke up feeling better, ate a small amount of yogurt and raspberries and a cracker, drank some water…and about an hour later threw all that up.  😦  She is now asleep again and I’m thinking no VBS tomorrow and probably a trip to the pedes.  Poor thing.  She can’t catch a break…I’m hoping it is a 24 hour thing and she will be all better tomorrow, but with her immune system, it could be a while.

Second, flies suck.  We always have a problem with flies.  We live backed up to a giant field where everyone walks their dogs and lets them poop and cats go to poop and probably kill things and then we have our own pooping dogs in our backyard.  So, we have a crap ton of flies all the time in the summer.  They seem especially bad right now.  I hate them.  I wish I felt comfortable just spraying the toxic fly spray all over our yard, but I don’t.  So, I have a fly trap in our tree, which has trapped a lot of them already, but there are all those plus more flying around back there and subsequently into our house every time the backdoor is open, which is often with a puppy.  Hate, hate, hate them. If anyone has any non-toxic suggestions, I would love to hear them.  I tried the pennies in a bag of water last year and it was a fail.  So, please, something other than that!

Third, because there has to be something that doesn’t suck on my list, bulldog puppies are hilarious.  Our new puppy, Scout, is a character.  Bulldog puppies are much less energetic than lab/shepherd mixes, but she is plenty entertaining in her own way.  Often in the way she sleeps!  And snores.  What isn’t funny is her gaseous fumes she releases on us!  But, she has been a great addition to our family zoo!  For your enjoyment, a lovely picture of her and our Seven snuggled up together:

Seven and Scout

So, there you go – my Tuesday Truths this week.  Back to worrying about my DD and hoping her illness goes away quickly!

Tuesday Truth

Tuesday Truth

tuesday truth

Well, today’s primary Tuesday Truths are all about sickness and hospitals.

First, it sucks to be sick.  I have some thing going on with my throat that has caused laryngitis and coughing and just misery in general.  Coughing makes me tired and relatively sleepless and laryngitis makes it difficult to teach and talk on the phone or talk to people in your house.  Basically, anything.  So, yeah – that’s where that’s at.  Hopefully my voice will soon return to full strength and this cough takes a hike.

Second, hospitals are exhausting.  I spent all day yesterday in the hospital for my DD’s annual heart biopsy.  She did relatively well, but it is still a long, long day.  We arrived at 7:30 a.m. and didn’t leave until 3:30 p.m. and in between we dealt with pre-op upset, post-op upset and just general frustration on hers and our part.  Trying to keep a six year old laying completely flat for four hours is a bit ridiculous if you ask me, but it is what they want us to do to keep her from bleeding at the access sites.  And she gets super frustrated and we get super frustrated and at some point, I just kind of give up and hope for the best.  Everything went okay.  The sites look fine today.  So, I think we did a good enough job.  Her rejection level was 1A which is a bit of a disappointment after the last few zeroes, but the NP says that is basically the same as a zero (which is obviously not true or they wouldn’t have a zero and a 1A), but we’ll take it.  It means no steroid treatment or change in meds.  So, we’re good.  Everything else looked good as well.  So, hopefully another year before we have to go through that again.

Third, having a sick, aging parent on hospice sucks.  My mom was here all weekend and she was considerably weaker than the prior weekend (just four days later).  And since she went home on Sunday she has gotten progressively worse.  Yesterday she didn’t really get out of bed.  My sister went down there today and says she is not making a lot of sense and seems very disoriented.  She is weak and now they want to get her a hospital bed.  Her caregiver seems to be a little low on the caregiving department since she says she can’t help her get into bed, which I was able to do this weekend.  So, now we may have to look for someone else OR we just need to convince my mom to go into assisted living, which she will hate, but which will probably be good for her.  I’m exhausted after taking care of her the last two weekends not because of having to help her move around, but more because of her emotional state.  I was also getting sick, so I didn’t feel good this weekend, and I think it all caught up to me this week.  Hence, my loss of voice.

So, that’s it – my Tuesday Truths.  Not much positive here, I know.  Its been a rough weekend.  And it has continued into the week.  But, I’m hoping things start to look up.  Maybe my voice will come back, hopefully this weekend will be without a hospital visit AND my mom will get what she needs and be more comfortable.  And, I hope to get some sleep.  And, get some grading done.  And, finish cleaning/organizing my house.  And, go to the fair.  And, read some books.  And, just R-E-L-A-X.  Yeah, right.  What about you?  What’s your Tuesday Truth?

Five Minute Friday

Five Minute Friday – Fight

Five Minute Friday

This week’s Five Minute Friday prompt is “Fight.”  Here we go:

Fight.  The word means many, many things.  Sometimes it is the urge to stand up and be strong in the face of some obstacle.  Other times it is the urge to take out aggression on someone or something else.  Other times it may mean arguing with another over some thing or another.  Some say that my daughter’s illness was the “fight” of my life or the “fight” of her life.  But, in some ways, I feel like it may have been the opposite.  It was actually the surrender of our lives.  We didn’t really have anything to do with “fighting” what had her down.  We had to surrender to the knowledge and help from others.  Doctors and nurses and friends and family.  It is strange what people say about illness – this idea of “fighting” the illness.  I think perhaps we say that out of our need to have an enemy.  Some identified opposition that we can defeat through sheer effort and dedication.  But, illness is different than that.  Illness is not some external opponent, it is within us.  It is us.  We can’t identify ourselves and fight.  So, I think in many ways, we should change the way we talk about illness.  Perhaps instead of telling people to fight or saying they are in for the “fight” of their lives, we need to say they need to surrender.  They are in for the surrender of their lives, where they have to follow the directions of others who have more knowledge and more resources than they do.  They must surrender to need for medical intervention and they must surrender their need to be in control.  It is not what we want to hear or what we want to say or what we want to do, but in reality, it is probably what we need most.

–and that is it.  Not exactly where I thought that would go, but that is the beauty of the Five Minute Friday.

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