Six Word Saturday

Six Word Saturday

Joining Six Word Saturday this week over at Show My Face.

All grown up.  What to be?

Summers are for reflection for me.  The rest of the year I tend to be so busy that I don’t have a ton of time to think about “things” or reflect on what I’m doing with my life and whether it is what I should be doing with my life or not.  I make all sorts of plans and read all kinds of self-improvement blogs and such and then the school year starts and I’m incapable of remembering my name let alone remembering what I am supposed to be doing to make myself a better person.

I love what I do.  I love teaching.  I even love coaching Speech and Debate most of the time.  But, I also love to write and speak to people outside of my classroom.  And I would love to actually make money doing those things (writing and speaking), but it is tough to figure out whether that is just a far-off dream that I am unwilling to commit to enough to be successful or whether it is that “call” that each of us has inside for what we are truly meant to do/be.

So, summer down time is here and my heart is able to wonder…what to be?

Tuesday Truth

Tuesday Truth

Today is Tuesday.  And in that, we can find some some truth.  I would like to share some truths I’ve realized today:

Tuesday Truth

First, others really can steal your joy, even from far away, if you let them.  And I let them.  I am currently at a teaching conference and really enjoying it.  I am in a nice hotel room in San Diego, right on the Marina, eating really good food and feeling excited about making changes to my classes.  But, I received an email about an issue that has nothing to do with what I’m doing here.  Something that was somewhat outside of my control, but is still within my realm of responsibility.  And more than the issue, was the way the message about the issue was delivered.  Backhanded insult.  Passive aggressive attack.  Something to highlight past mistakes instead of current successes.  And immediately, my mood changed.  I was no longer enjoying the conference, but instead was caught up in a defensive response and feeling less than adequate.  My joy was stolen by that email.  I didn’t speak to anyone.  I dealt with the issue as best I could.  I resolved myself to “fix everything and make it perfect” so that I would not have to ever deal with this passive aggressive attack again.  But, really, that isn’t possible.  Mistakes happen, especially when you are dealing with a pile of crap on a plate that is way to small.  So, I’m not going to be perfect.  Instead, I need to figure out how to not let these passive aggressive attacks steal my joy.  I have to figure out how to recognize that the insults are short lived and the amount of things I do are long lived.  I need to take the delivery and dismiss the insults while dealing with the issue.  But, it isn’t easy.  It is NOT easy.

Second, San Diego is beautiful.  If you’ve ever been to San Diego, you know this truth.  There is beauty everywhere one looks down here.  The water.  The weather. The architecture.  The art.  The boats.  The surrounding environment.  It really is gorgeous.  I think we’ll be coming back here for a family vacation at the end of summer.

Third, having a home town that I love.  I really look forward to going home.  I love my home town and it is so nice to love where you live and where I work.  Even if you don’t love everything about your job, being happy to be where you ARE in the world is important.

So, what’s your truths for today?

Six Word Saturday

Six Word Saturday – Final Countdown Edition

Now officially in the final countdown!

final countdown pic

Sorry, but for most of you that is probably true.  I actually love the commercials with that song in them.  It was a fave of mine back in the day and I think the commercial is hilarious.

But, seriously, I AM in the final countdown.  One of the campuses I work at is done for the semester (other than a pile of grading I have to do in those classes, but I’m making pretty good progress this weekend) and the other is in finals this coming week.  So, three more class meetings and I. am. finished.  So thankful.  I am tired this semester.  More tired than usual I think.  But, I also think that teaching is like childbirth.  If anyone really remembered everything that happened in the process, they would never return to do it again.  So, we have some selective memory that allows us to continue doing what would otherwise seem insane to do a second (or third, or twenty-third time – well, not childbirth unless you’re part of that Duggar family and they really may be legitimately insane – at least some of them. But with teaching, people definitely teach for upwards of 20-25 years and that is 40-50 semesters or more).  So, yeah.  We remember the good, tend to play down or forget the bad and we go back the next time feeling like we have a good idea of what is coming, but not realizing our memories are all distorted somehow.

Well, that took a direction that I didn’t plan on at the start…but, that is the beauty of the Six Word Saturday!

Tuesday Truth

Tuesday Truths

I’m jumping in with some Tuesday Truths this week.  Just tryin’ to keep it real…and truthful!

Tuesday Truth

My first truth this week is ANTIBIOTICS ARE AWESOME!  I woke up yesterday morning at 1 a.m. with a terrible pain in my throat.  Having gone many years in college getting strep throat multiple times a year, I recognized the feeling immediately.  I tried to ignore it thinking maybe it was allergies (they’ve been bad here), fell asleep again for a while, but woke at 3:30 a.m. with even worse pain.  At 4 a.m., I took a Tylenol and started planning my day with cancelling classes and office hours, going to the prompt care clinic and getting this taken care of ASAP.  With an immune-suppressed child (tonsilless thank goodness, I think that makes the strep less likely to take hold, but still) and a national travel trip with 15 students scheduled on Wednesday, I could take no chances.  I got up and started sending emails, dealing with planning, and as soon as I dropped my DD off at school, drove over to the prompt care clinic.  Within an hour, I had tested positive for strep, got a steroid to help with the inflammation and pain, and dropped off my prescription.  Within three hours, I had taken my first antibiotic in a 10 day, 3X a day protocol and settled in for a nap.  By the time I picked up my DD, the stabbing pain had turned to a dull ache.  I was still achy and exhausted, but felt much better already.  This morning, I woke up and am feeling GREAT!  So, yes, antibiotics are awesome!!!

My second truth is God is Good!  I know, I know.  It is a bit cliche.  But, I’ve seen Him working in my life in so many ways this year already.  Life is certainly not all smooth sailing, but His hand touches so many things in so many ways that I don’t always notice.  And this “season”, while starting out tough with news of surgery, financial concerns and job anxiety, has turned into so much goodness.  The surgery is on and I’m thankful that we are with an insurance that doesn’t question the pacemaker placement even though my DD has not been symptomatic (I read a thread online where multiple people had been told no).  I’m thankful I have a job that I can get people to cover for me and make adjustments where necessary when things like this surgery pop up.  I got a raise at my current job, where I would really prefer to stay, so I’ve decided not to apply for the other job (which was a stress in my life, mostly because of insurance concerns).  I also got a grant for revising a class that is going to be really exciting to work on next year.  And I’ve got ideas and plans and exciting possibilities for the coming years!  And I can see where God has had a hand in all those things.  So, I am feeling extremely thankful.

My last truth this Tuesday is travel is stressful.  I THINK I have all the logistics of this trip handled.  Luckily, my DH moved up his return flight today so he got back a couple of hours ago.  Originally, he was scheduled to arrive back home around Midnight and I was scheduled to leave at 3 a.m.  That’s stressful.  Today, he had a two hour delay.  If that would have happened tonight, I would have been a basket case.  So, much better.  I’ve got all the rental cars and we actually ended up with a truck, which will be much easier to fit all the luggage in (as long as it doesn’t rain, which it is projected to earlier in the night – but I will bring some big towels to throw down under luggage and hopefully it will suffice). One of the students was notified he has mono this afternoon, so I had to cancel him.  He was really upset and still wanted to go, but I told him if he put his body through the 3 a.m. departure, time change and long days of a tournament, he might not make it through the semester when he gets back. Mono can be rough and I think he isn’t feeling it right now, but he DEFINITELY would be if he went through this trip.  So, I said no.  So, now there are only 14 students going…but that is still the largest group I’ve ever flown with.  So, it is a bit stressful.  But, seems to be going okay so far.

 

 

Six Word Saturday

Six Word Saturday –

Joining up with Six Word Saturday this week.

Travel hopes are high.  No Whammies!

This weekend I am getting ready for a trip to Indiana with more students than I’ve ever taken before.  The logistics for the trip are like an LSAT problem and I’m dealing with some anxiety over the trip (as I always do, but with 20 people traveling, the stakes seem higher this time).  Last year at this same tournament, I had the worst trip I’ve ever had.  Two hotel issues (that were totally my doing), a problem with the advance (again, my doing)…I guess that was all but that was enough to scar me.  Luckily, I was only traveling with two students, so the problems were easy enough to deal with.  With 20, that would definitely not be the case.

So, I’ve been trying to double and triple check all the plans, but I still feel totally anxious.  I have not been sleeping great and I have a ton of grading and cleaning and such to do before I leave on Wednesday morning VERRRRRRY early (like 3 am early).

That’s the other part of this equation.  My husband is currently in FL for work.  He will get back around 11 p.m. on Tuesday night.  I will leave at 3 am on Wednesday morning.  We did this same thing last year (tournament schedules are usually very similar year-to-year), but last year was when all hell broke loose with my DD’s meds and we switched to pills and she wouldn’t take them for me and then I left and my DH got her to take the meds fine but when I got back she started having these horrible anxiety attacks about school.  It ended up being her med levels because of the switch from liquid to pills, but the whole experience with the traumatic days leading up to my departure with the pills, then the problems while I was traveling, then coming back to these horrible anxiety attacks…it is making me even more anxious about this year.  Sigh…

So, in a way.  This year HAS to be better.  Right?

Health and Caregiving, Life Updates, Uncategorized

School Happens

Every semester it is the same thing.  I start out so on top of things, convinced I will be able to keep up with it all.  Then, slowly, things start to spiral out of control.  It usually happens around my house.  Piles start to form.  Papers, mail, clothes that need to be put away, stuff.  Next, grading.  I start to find myself with piles of papers or emails with things to grade.  Oh, and the to-do list.  That starts to pile up as well.  Emails get backed up.  Then, curve balls get thrown at me, but I can’t adjust because of all the piles.

This semester has been a bit better.  I haven’t let the grading pile up too badly yet.  I’m relatively on top of class prep.  But, oh there are piles.  My dining room table.  One of the couches.  Bean’s desk.  Really, any flat surface is fair game for a pile to form.  And they don’t even make sense.  On the dining room table right now is a Sorry game with a magazine on top of it and an envelope on top of that.  There is a ball next to that pile and then another pile mostly of mail items that have been opened, but need to be dealt with in some way.  Then, there is my purse that I’m not currently using because I’m using my work bag instead.  There are some little toys and jewelry from my DD’s birthday party two weeks ago.  On the couch next to me there is a set of “scratch off” cards and little stencils that go with it, my work bag, my DD’s princess bag that she wanted to take to school instead of her backpack today, a stuffed giraffe…

pacing a heart and myself

We found out last week, after a last minute trip to Stanford on Wednesday (my long day at work) that my DD needs a pacemaker.  It was not totally unexpected and the news of how they could do it was better than I thought it would be (no open heart surgery, just a small incision), but it still is a bit of a disappointment.  We will only be in the hospital over night (or at least that is the prediction – last time they said that we were in for four days).  It will mean more doctor’s appointments post-surgery.  It will mean a new thing to deal with.  And it is a new thing in her heart that isn’t working.

I am very happy to have this weekend off to catch up on housekeeping and class prep.  I am very happy to have a lot of weekends off this semester.  I need that.  For sanity.  For the sake of my house and family.

So, life is moving on.  I’m going to try to pick back up with the blogging.  I feel the need to write. Now if I can just MAKE the time!